By Irina Jordan
This post shares the highlights of the talk given by Ashley Davis Bush, psychotherapist with over 20 years experience of working with grievers.
- Why is it some people get bitter after loss and others grow and make meaning from it - transcend it?
- Transcending is getting a bit higher to gain perspective on your loss as a piece of your life puzzle.
- Make a choice of not being bitter after loss, instead grow and make a difference.
- SOAR: spirituality, outreach, attitude and reinvestment.
- Make small daily choices: I choose a different path, I will keep loving.
- Gather all the love you've gathered with your loved one. Spread and share it.
- Gratitude of not taking life for granted. Don't sweat small stuff. Don't fear death.
- Heighten your sense of now. Be grateful for every single moment.
- Shift from fear to urgency. Savor and appreciate life. No single regret for me.
- Brain ability to change (neuroplasticity), no excuse for not changing.
- Affirmation: this is how I feel today, I don't know how I'm going to feel tomorrow.
- Open possibility of feeling differently later on. This is how I feel now, not forever.
- Allow for healing process to do its work. Humans are resilient and adapt to change. Let it run its course.
- Talk to people who are further along in their grief journey. Read about other people's experiences.
- Nature is a great teacher, always in cycle. Life is teaching us about growth and rebirth.
- You want to be understood and have a sense of hope.
- Many people feel connection through spiritual means: synchronicity, nature signs, dreams, visions.
- Grief is a life long process. You've changed forever. Transcend grief. Love doesn't die.
- Trust your intuition. It's true for you. You can talk and write to your loved one.
By Irina Jordan